This was supposed to be my piece in a publication but I think it’s turned out for the best that I’m publishing it here. I think Valentines is also a great time to post this because of all the external pressures and internal longings of the season. I’m adding this to my series: This Is Who You Are.
I was asked to write something, anything, from a guy’s perspective, and one thing I want to remind you from the start is that there are many kinds of guys, just as there are many kinds of girls. So my perspective may not be what people would consider the common guy perspective. I won’t be writing about secrets to keep your man happy, or whether I wear boxers or briefs, or what I think makes a woman sexy.
Instead, I have written a short piece on a different kind of woman, a woman I find both fascinating and challenging because of the standards she upholds. She is a rare kind of person, and in this world that promotes sexiness, fortune, fame, and everything fleeting, she is an endangered species – and that makes her all the more beautiful.
It doesn’t take an expert to know that the more rare something is, the more valuable it is.
We know this from art, from jewelry, from antiques, to cars, to even bags, and haute couture. Let’s take the very famous Birkin bag for example. While many people are impressed by it, very few will know the answer as to why they’re so expensive in the first place. I asked a few fashion friends, and what did they tell me? “Because it’s Hermes!”
Powerful branding, yes. Deep thinking, no.
Let me tell you why a Birkin commands such a high price: craftsmanship, materials used, maker, and lastly, rarity.
First of all only expert artisans work on the bags which are handmade and bearing the Hermes’ signature saddle stitching. It takes about 2 days to make one bag. The materials are from various specialty tanners that give each bag a distinct smell and texture. Given that the process is so meticulous and the attention to quality so focused, the result is a strong albeit heavy bag that is one of a kind. In other words each is distinct. Each is rare.
More rare than a Birkin, more rare and infinitely more valuable than the treasures of the Earth is a Woman of Beautiful Values. What is she? Who is she?
She is a woman who is not dictated by the trends, not easily impressed with the famous, not swayed by worldly pressures, and not discouraged by life’s challenges. She is a woman who knows her values, what’s truly important to her, and pursues them with focus and discipline, faith and hope, perseverance and passion.
Some may say, “I know a lot of women like that. What’s so rare about that?”
Well it’s the second part. Not only does she pursue her values, THE DIFFERENCE IS IN WHAT SHE VALUES. What makes her so rare is what she makes important in her life.
Values are the things we hold important. What we value becomes obvious based on what we spend our time, energy, and money on. Think about it? When a guy likes a girl, he spends whatever time, energy, and money he has on her. When a girl wants to shop, she spends time, energy, and money. When a parent has children, he or she spends time, energy, and money. And the more valuable something or someone is to us, the more we spend time, energy, and money on it.
A Woman of Beautiful Values spends time, energy, and money on cultivating her inner being, not just her physical shell, because she understands that who she is inside is she who she truly is when age and nature and life strips youth. She cultivates her mind with noble thoughts and learning. She fills her soul with noble inspirations. She grows in spirit through faith. Though no one sees or commends her, nor puts her on a list of most sexy, a Woman of Beautiful Values is secure in understanding, that what is essential is invisible to the eye, as the book The Little Prince so eloquently says.
A Woman of Beautiful Values spends her time, energy, and money on beautiful things. What are beautiful things? These are things that matter, things that last, starting with other people. A Woman of Beautiful Values spends her time, energy, and money on making other people better.
Her life’s emphasis is making the lives of others beautiful, not so much in proving her own beauty. She desires to lift others up, even at her expense because she understands that this is what it means to truly love.
A Woman of Beautiful Values spends her time, energy, and money on living a life of true love. She seeks to validate, not to be validated. She seeks to serve, not to be served. She seeks to give, not to take. Yet she does not lack validation, nor service, nor gifts, because in her is a cistern full from a lifetime of investing in her soul and spirit.
A Woman of Beautiful Values values God most. There is a humility that comes with complete dependence on God. Humility comes with admitting that we cannot live this life without Him. Humility isn’t silence or the lack of bragging. It is seen when one exhibits willful service, gracious forgiveness, and quiet trust.
To sum it up, a Woman of Beautiful Values is full of faith, hope, and love because she embraces the source of these three virtues: God.
ONE OF A KIND. I like that phrase. That’s a Woman of Beautiful Values. It signifies rarity, that among everything and everyone in this class, you’re set apart. You’re special. There’s no one like you.
O Woman of Beautiful Values, don’t envy the common ways – no matter how famous, no matter how enticing, no matter how euphoric, for the world needs more ladies like you. Don’t worry if you’re not on a billboard, people don’t advertise their treasures. Don’t worry if you’re not sought, there are really more fans than there are connoisseurs.
Have I described a standard too lofty? Maybe. But the thought of you inspires me. More than your benefits, I know one thing is for sure, that someone this full, this attractive, this impossibly unattainable is worth every moment, every effort, every expense.
Stay strong, stay resolute, stay full of love, O Woman of Beautiful Values, be a light.
Please join the forum.
it’s almost as if i’m seeing “her” , while reading this. hehe.. #WOWed
Hehe. Great! Hold on to that vision.
it’s good to have wonderful standards in this world we’re living in. it’s quite rare, nowadays.I salute you for that 🙂
I feel you. sometimes,people lower down their standards just because, nobody can’t reach it, it’s quite too good to be true, or they are trying to blend in and catch up with the standards of this world. awful truth.
But, the standards of this world doesn’t define who we are in Christ. therefore, we keep on pressing on for the goal, to seek the face of Jesus, and everything else will follow–that is a standard.
keep your standards and work on it, I know in God’s perfect timing everything will be beautiful, more than you can imagine.
A woman of God, who’s worth having, is definitely worth waiting.
To be honest, I discovered these standards after being satisfied attaining shallow standards. More than anything, I’ve found that it’s not about finding someone, even someone good, but knowing for sure that I am complete in Jesus.
it’s good to have wonderful standards in this world we’re living in. it’s quite rare, nowadays.I salute you for that 🙂
I feel you. sometimes,people lower down their standards just because, nobody can’t reach it, it’s quite too good to be true, or they are trying to blend in and catch up with the standards of this world. awful truth.
But, the standards of this world doesn’t define who we are,what we are in Christ. therefore, we keep on pressing on for the goal, to seek the face of Jesus,setting aside all distractions and everything else will follow–that is a standard.
keep your standards and work on it, I know in God’s perfect timing everything will be beautiful, more than you can imagine.
A woman of God,a woman of beautiful values, who’s worth having, is definitely worth waiting.
Same Here @marvgepte! it’s like describing the girl that i admire the most recently.. 🙂
and i do hope guys would start to value this kind of girls
Guys who have these values will value girls who share their values. I find it silly when girls say they “attract the wrong guys” as if they are in some passive role.
Regardless of what others think, say, or do, knowing your values means embracing them even if you have to embrace them alone.
David , you are the most romantic among your brothers 🙂 Very well said ( clap clap)
Haha! Most definitely.
Wow! This is a jaw-dropping, nose-bleeding, tongue-tying blog! But I love it so much! Mr. Bonifacio, is it okay with you if I share this during my chastity talks with high school and college girls here in Cebu? It’s really encouraging to read this kind of articles straight from a man’s thoughts.I do hope many men still think the way you do. Thank you so much!=)
Feel free to share it.
I didn’t write it for chastity talks though. Many times, I find their emphasis to be too much on fear and outward suppression of inward longing. Fear, guilt, shame, accountability, and duty these may prevent us from getting pregnant or catching STDs but they do not address the real issue: our hearts are far from God.
There is a perfect temptation for every heart that is not madly in love with Christ.
So I don’t think the message is “Don’t have sex.” but “Go live for something greater than yourself, greater than your comfort, greater than your pleasure.”
Of course this is from my limited experience.
Well said. I just happen to stumble in your blog from one of links shared in FB. 🙂 Thank you for sharing your thoughts about Women and what it truly means to be beautiful. 🙂 And it made more impact because it came from a guy. 🙂 Keep sharing! God bless you!!
You make me feel more beautiful. I’m certain that girls who read this may either feel convicted or comforted. Thanks for the reminder, Mr. David! (:
I don’t mean to make anyone feel convicted. We don’t need to be convicted – we will feel guilt when we live our lives in such a way that is far from the design of Christ.
I remember my friend telling me once that he didn’t want to go to church because he felt he would just feel guilty. I asked him, “Don’t you feel guilty now?”. He said yes. And I explained to him guilt resides in our hearts when our hearts recognize the wrong in our lives.
If someone is convicted, it’s not because I convicted them, but rather they recognize something is off.
Thank you for these article. God has spoken to me through you.
You’re most welcome.
Question, Mr Bonifacio. What is your opinion of woman who made a mistake in her life and regretted it and decided to have a clean living life in the name of Christ?
This is a wonderful question, and it’s a question I get messaged quite often. I’ll dedicate a post to this but let me give you a quick answer:
EVERYONE has made mistakes. Sometimes society judges our mistakes depending on the perceived gravity, how public the mistake, mostly how far from expectations the person has fallen.
That being said, if followers of Christ judged like the world, writing people off, branding people with their failures and sins, gossiping, and pulling others down just to feel better about themselves, and sometimes out of just uneducated habit, then there is no hope for anyone.
We would all be trying to get by hiding behind accomplishments, mascara, and toys.
But Jesus has given us a completely new perspective: LOVE. Love covers over a multitude of sins. Love does not keep a record of wrongs. Love protects. Perfect love casts off fear.
I have made my own mistakes, most I will never publish here, but there is a perfect love that embraces me, so I stay in His embrace.
Totally agree with everything you said. I pray God will get the message across to everyone reading this and will really speak to each of one’s heart. This post is FULL and Spirit inspired.
1Peter 3:4 “….the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”. Security from knowing what’s valuable in God’s sight not the world’s – that alone radiates beauty.
That is a great verse. It’s very different from what our society values, but that’s also why society is so broken.
Your blogs are truly inspiring and encouraging! Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
You’re most welcome.
Thank you David for sharing this! It reminds me of Proverbs 31:10-31, what I envision myself as what God wants a woman should be… You give me hope that that there are still men who prefer a woman of virtues 🙂 Godbless!
Well, more than hoping for a man who will appreciate this “type” of beauty. It is an example of someone who doesn’t need a guy to make her feel good about her kind of beauty.
“Her life’s emphasis is making the lives of others beautiful, not so much in proving her own beauty. She desires to lift others up, even at her expense because she understands that this is what it means to truly love.”
Such a wonderful wisdom from the One who created it. Praise and Glory to Jesus Christ!
it’s as if I’m hearing from Solomon in the OT. hahah!
Thankyou for this brother. Glory to GOD always! <3
Thank you for reading my post!
Do you mean to say atheist girls aren’t included in these values? And are you saying that the playboys/chauvinists or mr. And ms. Popular that everyone wants are rare because a lot of people want them? If you believe in God you already know that we’re all created as unique and rare individuals with different values so to speak because of free will.
I say don’t lose hope and hold on to your values. Everyone has a part to play in this world, if you believe in love, get on with it and make it happen–get married and don’t ever look back on the past nor consider divorce and/or annulment. After all, you can’t do the same to your Hermes’ bag can you?–raven_g(happily married)
I completely agree with you that all people unique, rare, and equally valuable. My whole blog talks about this topic over and over. The fact that people are valuable is my motivation for encouraging others and pursuing the advocacies I support.
The way you phrased your questions are misleading and shows you misunderstood the article.
First of all, as I wrote in the article. this is “MY” perspective and it is a description of a woman “I” find fascinating. This is in no way, nor was it intended to be a universal list of what makes someone valuable.
No where in the article does it even mention that.
People talk and write about their type all the time. When someone says her type is fair skinned, she is in no way saying dark skinned people are bad. She just has a preference.
No one is ever offended when people describe their crushes and types physically.
Yet, when I describe “MY” type and write a description of her inner character, values, and direction, people are offended. Why? I’ve gotten so much criticism for this article and I appreciate those who email and introduce themselves when they do.
Lastly, you completely missed the meaning of the article. The Hermes bag was a contrast in values – the material vs. the character of a person. It gave a bridge for people to realize that people are more valuable than these expensive things.
If you read the description of the lady I described, you’re not going to find too many popular people who fit this description.
This woman is “others promoting” not “self promoting”. She values “inner beauty” – which no one sees until it actually blooms – more than “outer beauty” – which popular people are known for.
But thank you for reading my post. I’m very glad that you are happily married. I consider myself very blessed that my parents, despite the challenges of real life, built a happy marriage. It’s always nice to find people enjoying their relationships.
Thank you for this… Very inspiring. You made me miss my mom more haha!
Thanks for writing this. Read Joe’s and Ptr Joey’s blog. I was amazed by you writing and as well the learnings I gained from it. Will surely read more of your blogs. 🙂
Thank you for reading my blog. The flavor is a little different from my dad’s and Joe’s but we all have a similar message.
great encouragement for women to regard themselves as priceless… it would be nice though to have a counterpart with a title “Oh Man with Minimal Pride!” hahhahah
Haha! He doesn’t exist!
Kidding aside, I would be the worst person to write that as I have so much of it!
just to clarify the statements below:
1.the I agree is for your 1st statement that no such man exist, and
2.the second statement was written as a suggestion to general “adam” & not in particular to the author.
PEAce*-)
Agree..! this just proves your human after all.hahahhaa
Definitely human. Very very very human.
on second thought,writing about the topic might be your “bitter” dose of medicine to minimized the chronic pride.
very romantic 😉 Great Heart 😉 Amazing!
Thank you for reminding us girls not to compromise our values just to please our partners/partners to be. Kudos to a great post!
Hi David, just wanted to ask: do you print out your blog entries? I’ve read some of them and I think they’re really good content. Anything can happen on blog sites: it could get hacked, entries get erased or they could close down (like multiply.com-and I had a lot of entries there). Printing out your entries also makes you see you have enough content to publish a book. I would definitely read your book from cover to cover! Best regards.
you should write a book.
And for you to know all these and to also value all these in a woman means you are a man of value yourself. Blessed is the woman to be love by you! 🙂
It is great to know that there is a man like you who thinks like that. God bless you and the woman that you love 🙂 (y)