This is Why You’re Insecure

Feelings of insecurity (particularly job security) can be met with honest answers to these questions:
– Am I useful to those I seek security from? Why?

– Am I needed by those I seek security from? Why?

– Am I effective at providing what’s required? Why?

– Am I better than the alternatives they have? Why?

If you’re not useful, not needed, ineffective, and worth less than the alternatives, if your team will do fine without you because you really aren’t consistently improving things, then your insecurity is not your boss’s fault but your own. You can whine about how evil your leaders are or how terrible your circumstances are, but you’ll always be insecure. Insecurity doesn’t come from an external requirement but from an internal inadequacy. Today’s, politically correct world will tell you it’s “ok”, that the fault lies in someone else’s doing, which is not true. You’re insecure because you know that you’re not as good as the others out there. But here’s the thing, it’s not because you can’t be great. It’s because you won’t be great. You won’t fight your excuses, your self-accepted reasons for failure. You won’t stop hiding behind your cheerleaders, including your parents and “prayer warriors”. You won’t discipline yourself. You won’t better yourself. You won’t study. You won’t do the necessary boring, even painful, stuff. And that’s not ok. It’s not ok to say you want fairness yet expect others to make it happen consistently, while you only work on what you feel like. It’s not ok to want a better world and say your opinions while you stay in your bubble, safely protected by the harsh realities of those fighting it out and stay engaged, making up your own issues in your head – like “not knowing my passion”.

Stop listening to the feel good advice. If you’re more useful, if you’re more needed, if you’re more effective than the alternatives, you’ll find security.

You will never find security in the arms of today’s nanny culture, just like an adult would never find security in having a yaya. At best you’ll have pockets of artificial security, when you’re in church, when you’re in small group, when you’re at a party, when you’re drunk, when you’re at the gym, but you won’t be sustainably secure.

You’re insecure not because the world sucks, but because, in my opinion, you’re selfish. If the world really sucks, if that is its natural state, then why feel bad about it? We feel bad because we know the world should be better. Now if the world should be better, if we want a better situation, who should make it better? Others? What do you call someone who wants something better but expects others to make that better happen for him? A selfish entitled brat.

You’re not insecure because the world is a terrible place or because other people are evil. You’re insecure because you’re a brat.

Published by

David Bonifacio

David Bonifacio Husband, Father, CEO of Bridge. #DB

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